Fun in the Sun
by Top Magician
Summary: Last time I checked, Vongola Headquarters did not have an indoor beach. 56LR


Ah, that's nice. The salty breeze caressing my face, the gulls cawing lazily, the lull of the waves lapping against the sand… Hold up. The _sand_? Last time I checked, Vongola Headquarters did _not_ have an indoor beach. I was almost scared to open my eyes. A large red and white umbrella loomed over me, shading me from the sun's rays, while a fuzzy blue towel lay under me. Behind me, a large rock shelf secluded the beach.

"Oh? You're finally awake."

I knew that voice…

"Reborn?"  
That oh-so familiar smirk came into view. "You're been out for a while. I thought maybe the dosage was too strong."  
"Dosage? You _drugged_ me!"  
"Of course not. I'd never do that."  
I gave him a disbelieving glare.  
"Gokudera did. I simply provided them."  
I blinked. Didn't see that one coming.

"_Hey, stupid cow! Get off your lazy ass and be useful for once!"_

Okay, so maybe I did.  
I guess it was a little fishy that Gokudera suddenly wanted to be all buddy-buddy with me.

_My door flew open, and Gokudera strolled in, two mugs in hand. _"_Hey, Lambo."_

I admit I probably should have realized something was up as soon as he said "Lambo," opposed to "stupid cow."

"_Let's have a talk." He thrust one of the mugs into my hand.  
__The warm scent of melted chocolate wafted up to tickle my senses.  
_"_A talk?" I echoed.  
_"_Yeah, man on man." He sat down on the bed next to me._

Okay, so I _really_ should've known, considering he was calling me a "man," and not a "snot-nosed brat."

_I took a cautious sip from the mug, and a pleasant warmth flooded my mouth.  
_"_This is good."  
__Gokudera grumbled something that sounded a lot like. "The baseball idiot made it."  
__An awkward quiet pursued.  
_"_So…" I tried. "You wanted to talk?"  
__He nodded slowly. "You should drink some more."  
__I complied, and we lapsed back into silence._

At the time, I simply assumed that he was looking for the right words to dive into a conversation that would deepen our brotherly bond. I know better now.

_My mug was empty, and Gokudera still hadn't said another word. My eyelids were starting to droop, and my body felt heavy. I slumped against Gokudera, my head on his shoulder. He took the mug from my hands and pushed me back against the bed. The last thing I remember was Gokudera's malicious grin.  
_"_Sleep tight, stupid cow."_

Well then, maybe it was pretty obvious Gokudera drugged me. He never really liked me anyways.

"Are you done daydreaming, cow?"  
"Huh?" Reborn's face came back into focus. "Oh yeah… Sorry." I looked around. There was nothing but ocean, rock, and sand. "So, where are we?"  
He smirked. "My own private getaway."  
I rolled my eyes, deciding not to press the matter further.

"Come on, cow." He cockily held out his hand to me. "You can swim, right?"  
"Of course I can." I swatted his hand away, mildly insulted. "I need a swimsuit though."  
Reborn's eyes dropped to my legs. Actually, I'm pretty sure it was my crotch he was looking at.  
"You're already wearing one."  
I looked down. He was right. Cow-print trunks. Haha, very funny. Turns out I wasn't wearing a shirt either.  
I raised an eyebrow. "You changed my clothes? That's sexual harassment." I said accusingly.  
Somehow, Reborn had magically apparated behind me. His arms wrapped around my waist.  
"It's not if you liked it." He nipped my ear, purring seductively. "Besides, it's not like there's anything down there that I've never seen before." His hands started to trail lower and lower, until his fingertips slipped beneath my waistband. I threw myself out of his grasp and out onto the sand.

"No! We are not doing that here!"  
"So other places are okay?"  
"NO!"  
"Oh, come on." He said. "Think of it as our honeymoon."  
"Honeymoon?" I cried indignantly.  
He smirked. _Again._ "You know I'm going to marry you when you're older."  
"Like hell I'm going to agree to that."  
He shrugged. "I doubt you'll be able to make it on your own as a single mother."  
I gaped. "In case you can't tell, I'm a _guy._ I couldn't have babies, even if I wanted to!"  
A glint appeared in his eyes. "I'm sure technology in the future will allow males to conceive. I've already got Verde working on it." He did that disappearing act again, and before I know it, his hands were splayed across my stomach, rubbing it tenderly.  
"Imagine, you plump and round with my child."

Okay, consider me officially creeped out. "You're kidding, right?"  
He pulled away instantly and scoffed. "Of course. Like I'd want my kids to have stupid cow disease."  
My mouth dropped. "Well… Well I wouldn't want my kids to have stupid side burns!"

Have I mentioned that I'm great at comebacks?

He didn't even so much as blink. "I thought you didn't want kids."  
"Well… _If_ I wanted kids!"

Genius.

He rolled his eyes and turned to the blue cooler that sat next to the towel.  
"Want something to drink?"  
"Beer?" I said hopefully.  
"No," He deadpanned. "You're underage."  
"That didn't stop you from doing other things to me." I said under my breath.  
He ignored me.  
"Milk, then. I want milk."  
He gave me that 'are you stupid?' look of his.  
"I bring you to the beach, and you want to drink milk?"  
I crossed my arms defiantly across my chest. "Don't judge me."  
"Stupid cow." He sighed and stood up. "I'll be back."  
I cocked my head. "Where're you going?"  
"To get you your stupid milk."  
"What am I supposed to-"

A voice boomed from behind. "About time you showed your face again, Reborn!"  
I turned just in time to catch a glimpse of a figure leaping off the rock shelf. It landed on the sand in front of me with a none too graceful thump. Next thing I knew, strong muscular arms pulled me into a –bare- chest and gave me a crushing hug.

Huh. I think that goose-in-labor noise came from me.

"Lambo! Good to see you again!"  
I was roughly yanked out of his grasp and found myself back in Reborn's arms.  
"Colonello." Reborn's arms tightened protectively.  
"Aw, come on. I was just being friendly." Colonello raised in arms in a sign of surrender.  
"Why are you here?" Reborn didn't waste anytime getting to the point.  
Colonello looked stunned for a moment, and then doubled over in guffaws of laughter.  
"You…" He said between laughs. "You really thought you could bring Lambo to Mafia Land without me finding out?"

Mafia Land…? He brought me… to Mafia Land!

I whipped around to look at Reborn. He didn't seem the least bit ashamed.  
"Your little 'getaway' was Mafia Land!"  
He shrugged nonchalantly. "Why not?"  
I struggled in his grip. "That's so not romantic!"  
"Oh?" He whispered huskily. "You wanted it to be romantic?"  
As I turned bright red, Colonello cleared his throat.  
"So, Reborn, aren't you going to get Lambo's milk?"  
"And leave him here with you? Please." He snorted.  
"Hm?" Colonello raised an eyebrow. "I guess you don't want Lambo to have a very good time, eh? Everyone knows how much Lambo loves milk."  
Reborn's eyes narrowed. "Fine." And he turned and stalked away.

Colonello watched Reborn's retreating back. "Huh. Didn't think he'd really fall for that." He turned to me. "So, Lambo, want to go for a swim?" He gestured towards the sparkling, clear water.  
I nodded dumbly. "Sure…"  
I started off for the water, but Colonello grabbed my arm. "Wait. You're going to burn." Colonello's thumb rubbed small circles on the underside of my arm. "You have _very_ fair skin, you know."

I cursed mentally. From one lion's den into another.

"Um…" I shook off Colonello's hand and retreating back to the umbrella. "I'll just put some sun screen on. I'm sure Reborn brought some…" My eyes fell on the orange bottle half covered by the beach towel. I reached for the bottle, but it was already gone. "Huh?"  
"Here, Lambo." Colonello squeezed a dollop of sunscreen into his hand.

Ah. Should've known that's where it went.

"Let me get your back."

I was vaguely reminded of a lecherous old man.

"No, it's fine. I can get it myself."  
"Really?" His hot breath burned against my ear. "We wouldn't want you burning your back."  
I sighed. Looks like there was no way to get out of this. "No, I guess not."  
Colonello's large hands pressed against my back, kneading the sunscreen in. His fingers dug in all the right places, and I let out an involuntary moan. Colonello's hands started creeping forwards, sliding around to my chest.  
"Oh? Did that feel good, Lambo?"

Crap.

"Uh, yeah." I laughed nervously. "Have you ever thought of becoming a masseuse?"  
I felt his chest move right up against my back.  
"A masseuse?" He sounded amused.  
"Y-yeah," Damn my stutter! "Your h-hands… They feel really good…"  
"Do they?" He suddenly tweaked a nipple.  
I yelped and tried to leap out of his arms, but he wouldn't let go.  
"Come on, Lambo. Don't be like that." His voice was deep and breathy.  
He rolled my nipple between two fingers and jolts of pleasure raced down my body, straight to my groin. An embarrassing whine left my lips.  
"N-nn…. S-stop it…"  
He nipped lightly against my bared neck. "Be honest. You know you like it."  
His other hand dropped down to my waist. "Just give in, Lambo. Let me-"  
"Hey." A glass narrowly missed to top of Colonello's head and shattered against the rocks in front of us. "Get your hands off my cow."

I gasped. Did Reborn really just call me his cow? _His_ cow? Oh god, I could faint!

Kidding.

I was more like: Great. The devil's back.

Well, _actually_, I had a hard time putting together coherent thoughts, seeing as Colonello's fingers had yet to stop moving. I don't think my man-pride could be wounded further.

"A-ah...! C-Colonello…" My pitiful squeak proved me wrong. I could cry.  
"I thought I told you to get your hands off him." A vein in Reborn's forehead visibly throbbed. I could practically hear Colonello smirk over my shoulder.  
"You know what they say: Sharing is caring. Besides…" Colonello's hand groped the growing bulge in my shorts, and I let out a throaty moan.  
"N-no… P-please…!"  
"Don't you think it'll be more fun this way?"  
I watched in horror as the anger melted from Reborn's face… melted into a smirk.

Damn that smirk.

I could only wait helplessly as Reborn advanced on me, Colonello holding me fast.

God, I hate the beach.

* * *

OMAKE

"Lambo, how was your vacation?"  
Ah. I could always count on good ol' Yamamoto.  
"Terrible." I said bluntly. "I'm still washing sand out of all the hard to reach places."  
Yamamoto gave a good-natured laugh. "It's good that you had fun/"  
"Fun? _Fun!_" I flailed my arms. "No, it was _not_ fun! And Gokudera, he-"  
The door flew open with a bang. Gokudera appeared in the doorway, two mugs in hand.  
"Hey there, Lambo. Let's have a talk."  
Yamamoto's face lit up at the sight of the frothy hot chocolate. "Oh! Can I have some?"  
Gokudera crossed the room in a few strides. With a well-placed hit to the back of the neck, Yamamoto sank to the floor, unconscious.  
Cool. There went my only hope.  
Gokudera gave me a grin that screamed murder.  
"Come on, Lambo. Drink up."

What have I don't to deserve this? I mean, really? _Really?_

Well, no point in worry about it now. I sighed and resigned to my fate.

* * *

Wow. This was so much longer than I thought it would be... But I guess this makes up for me not writing anything in a while, right? :'D  
But I can't say I'm very proud of this one. I feel like I used too many italics and that it was too rushed. :/  
But writing in a first person POV was really fun :3

Happy Saint Patty's Day~ :D  
But more importantly, I wrote this for my friend's birthday, which is tomorrow (the 18th) :3  
So happy birthday, stupid cow! I love you tons :D  
(And I also love it when you get topped by Reborn and Colonello... AT THE SAME TIME 8D)  
And it's also partially for my birthday, which was yesterday (the 16th) :)

So yeah. If you liked it, review! :D


End file.
